By Kashish Kaur
2nd Year, B.Tech (IT)

“Don’t put yourself in a box.”
We have all heard of this phrase at some point in our lives. In layman language, “putting yourself in a box” means self-sabotaging; it’s like I would rather not try than accept that I might be bad at something. Imagine living the same day on repeat, thanks to the pandemic we don’t have to imagine. Change is scary, but it is the only constant and probably the key to our sanity. Just like mundanity scares us, so should labels, stereotypes and boxes.

What is this box?
Box: a place where your insecurities force you to turn to but only your self-awareness and self- love will help you climb out of. Being put in a box is like living under a dictatorship, and we all know how that goes. It will urge you to filter your thoughts, love, hopes, and dreams and eventually filter the person you are, just to fit within the box’s context.

Let’s talk about social media per se; one billion people use Instagram today. That’s quite a few boxes of panoramic pictures, curated lives, and quotable messages. Truth be told: you’ re not your follower count or your feed aesthetic. You’e way more than that. You are more than your job, physique, health, family lineage, schooling, lifestyle, relationships, and the people you treasure. All these things are just pages in the novel of your life.

Who puts us in these so-called boxes?
Society often stereotypes us, whether it be our gender, race, ethnicity, sexuality, class, disability, age, nationality or even religion for that matter, you name it, and it’s there. But fortunately, times are changing, people have learned to break those stereotypes and empower themselves to live life according to their standards. However, on one hand, we have succeeded in throwing off the shackles designed by our beloved society, at the same time, we have created our own personalised hell- our pretty little boxes.

We have unconsciously put ourselves in boxes that define us based on our opinions, attributes, or character traits, refusing to accept that we can act or feel the way we want irrespective of the box we are currently in. When we say things like “It’s just not my thing” or “I’m not a people person, and there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s just who I am.” That is exactly what putting yourself in a box means. We all have a sense of self, and some of our aspects may never change, and that’s perfectly fine. The problem arises when we let that restrict us. Things start going downhill when we start placing labels on ourselves and don’t acknowledge that we have room to grow and change.

Why do these boxes exist in the first place?
I believe the root cause behind the existence of these boxes is fear. Fear of being judged or laughed at, of not being good enough; fear of eventually triggering your deep-rooted validation issues; these fears manipulate us into building these boundaries for ourselves. It all starts with a simple boundary, but that boundary grows into a box before you realise it. Ergo you find yourself stuck inside your personalised prison in no time.

Everyone talks about success, but no one talks about failing. Nobody teaches how to deal with failures, which tricks us into thinking that failing is a forbidden thing to do. This mentality confines us and chains us to mediocrity; it keeps us from discovering our best selves. The fear of not being good enough leads us into creating these boxes and prevents us from stepping out of our comfort zone. It’s like a defence mechanism against our deep-rooted insecurities.

Dangers of Self-sabotage.
Putting yourself in a box makes your life stagnant. You’re limiting all the fantastic possibilities that could come your way only if you’d follow your dreams and be yourself instead of succumbing to others” expectations. When you don’t let yourself imagine beyond that tiny
preconceived box, you’re killing your dreams slowly. These missed opportunities hinder our growth in the long run and lead to mediocrity. If you choose to remain stuck in some preconceived notions about yourself, you risk missing out on new things to learn and try. Our mind tricks us into thinking that these boxes are our safe spaces, but we use them as a “crutch”.

For instance, a person who claims not to be a people’s person should not step back from interacting and building a healthy relationship with people. In situations like these, you don’t have to let your reserved nature dictate how you behave and hide behind these labels as excuses for not being kind and open to other people. Do not let it keep you from making healthy changes to your behaviour, especially in how you treat other people.”Change is the only constant”, and by staying open to changes in ourselves, we unlock a whole new realm of possibilities.

The truth is, people are unpredictable and constantly evolving, even as you read this blog, so we shouldn’t assume that someone cannot change. We are like onions, full of layers that are constantly peeled away to reveal different aspects of who we are. Knowing yourself is one thing, but limiting yourself because of that is like expecting a cocoon to not turn into a butterfly. Don’t put yourself in a box and then complain about being claustrophobic. Be free, be accessible in the sense that you give yourself some room to breathe and evolve.

If you are currently inside a box, too scared to break out, then start pushing through those walls with every ounce of your energy. Trust me, you’ll break free. If not today, then tomorrow.