Sipra Mishra
2nd Year

The climb down the hill seemed smooth, effortless even. The sun shone on my tanned face with every stone I crushed beneath my tired feet. The waterfall was visible from where I was. I could hear the water. I was impatient.  I wanted to get down the hill soon so that I could witness the beauty and the tranquility of the waterfall. I kept moving, going down each step one by one. Then in a flash of a second, it happened! The next thing I know I was on the ground. My leg slipped while I was going down. I fell, on both my legs, if you ask me the exact positioning of my legs now I honestly wouldn’t be able to tell you, but it was enough for me to crack my right ankle and injured the left one. Both the ankles, yes you heard it right! That too on the second day of my holiday! The next couple of hours were a complete nightmare. It was with immense difficulty and my parent’s support that I was able to climb up the hill. What followed next was an hour long car hide to the hospital where my ankles were examined. The x ray suggested that I suffered from a tibia crack on the right side and a minor injury on the left side. I was asked to get a plaster over my right ankle. The left one would heal on its own with medicines and time, ofcourse. I sat there flabbergasted, angry, and almost teary when the doctor said I wouldn’t be able to run around, cycle, jump or even wear heels for the next three to four months. This isn’t what happens in Imtiaz Ali’s films? You go to the mountains and you have whole transformation. I, on the other side, ended with broken ankles and a vacation ruined?

How unfair!

It took me a whole day to wrap my head around what had happened. I thought the difficult part was over. Now all I had to do was take rest and heal. How difficult could that be right? I had never been so wrong my entire life! The nights were the toughest part. I had to sleep in a very specific position with my leg raised high to prevent swelling and for a side sleeper like me, it was next to impossible. The pain got worse during nights. Everyday seemed like a mountain climb for me. It’s hard, you know when you have been physically active your entire life, running around doing your own thing and now all you do is lay on the bed. I felt sad. Well, not sad, helpless maybe. I remember when my relatives would come visit me. They would look at me as if my life had come to an end. Those were the nights I had to cry myself to bed.

College started and I couldn’t be a part of it. I am immensely thankful to my friends, for keeping me updated and supporting me throughout. But, I felt like I was losing my spark. I didn’t feel like myself. I was always told that I am very confident, an absolute go getter. But sitting at home, more specifically sleeping, takes that away from you. They say that an empty mind is the devil’s workshop, well I don’t know about that but my mind definitely seemed clogged with various thoughts. I had never known what self doubt was before this. It’s inevitable I guess, when you don’t really have anything to do and all you do is let your thoughts run wild. I tried doing the things that once brought me happiness. I consider myself an avid reader, but somehow during that time it was a struggle to even get through one chapter. In the mornings I would spend my time binge watching Netflix and in the nights my thoughts would run wild making me question every decision, every aspect of my life. What would follow next is an hour long crying session before slumber finally blows me a kiss! This was the toughest part. The pain would come and go. My mobility issues served as a mirror to my inner turmoil.Something I had been avoiding for months. Maybe I did have an Imtiaz Ali transformation?

I was suggested complete bed rest for two whole months. During these two months, I have fought several battles. From not being able to sleep like a baby without a worry in the world, to needing assistance to walk just to the washroom, to doubting myself, questioning my abilities to finally coming out of it all stronger than ever. It’s these experiences in life that make us slow down, retrospect and think. Yes, I agree my initial days led me to doubt myself and trust me that wasn’t a smooth road but with time I understood myself. For the first time in my life I could make sense of what I wanted. I could finally understand what kind of a person I was on the inside. What I wanted out of life? There’s this saying that before luck gives you a hug misfortune gives you a kiss on the lips.

I don’t know if this was a sign that luck is on it’s way, but this definitely helped me in understanding myself. I don’t think I would have ever been able to get to know myself on such a deep level with the hustle and bustle of life. I also wouldn’t be able to watch all the shows on my Netflix watch list!

Now that I have gotten better, my plaster has been removed and I have finally started college, I feel like a changed person. I have become calmer, more empathetic and more kind. In the end I feel, I wasn’t that bad you know. By the time you will be reading this, I would be cracking my head open to get through my midsems and eagerly waiting to finally be able to wear heels! Everything in life happens for a reason and we can only connect the dots looking backwards. Apart from the unwanted weight gain, this time of my life really served as a period of rest and reflection. After all,it was nothing but an experience! I mean, it could have been worse. I might have hit my head and be dead right there. I am sorry if I made you awkward. But, isn’t it true? Something much worse could have happened. It’s still a struggle climbing all the way up to the second floor to attend classes and not being able to wear heels, but it’s still better than being dead I guess?